Introverts, boundaries, and a 5 year old

I thought about deleting the whiny post from earlier but instead decided to expand on it.

I think the one thing that drives me nuts the most about being a parent is simply that my daughter and I have the most extreme opposite personailties you could imagine.

I am your basic introvert.

I do like being around people I know well…. but after extended interactions, I need my space and time alone for a bit to recharge. People time is draining.

While my daughter will play shy in public half the time until you might think she’s an introvert, she is not. At the end of her day, she wants to babble and babble and interact… right at the same time I’m desperately needing a soundproof closet to hide in.

I’ve learned over time to know when I’m reaching overly drained levels…. and learned to let people know that I need some time for a bit to recharge.

However, all the asking in the world doesn’t help with a 5 year old. All the explaining will get you nowhere.

I can plead all I want, and she will be right back on top of me 30 seconds later.

I can ignore this for a while… but the more and more she refuses to allow me to have my boundary, the closer and closer I get to the snapping point.

You would think she would notice this and figure out where she ought to listen to what she’s being told and stop before I end up screaming at her. You would think that after a while of my asking her to find something to do for a while, or of suggesting other people to go interact with for a while, that she might try these suggestions.

Desperate measures don’t help much either. Locking the door to my bedroom does no good, she throws herself on the floor outside of it screaming, which is even more draining. I’ve even resorted to leaving the room, or even going out in the yard to escape… and it does no good.

Today was one of these days. It’s been a busy week, on my day off I had to spend it doing appointments, then the migraine, then the added prayer meeting last night after working all day, then the added interaction at church this morning…. then instead of going home I had to deal with an errand for my mom…

I massively needed left alone for a while for a bit of regrouping time.

Which of course seems to trigger either a: kid who is on her absolute worst behavior to try to provoke attention or b: clingy kid or c: a clingy kid on her worst behavior.

I got c.

All afternoon, all evening… until I ended up snapping into a screaming fit about 830.

Days like these I find myself kind of glad that things did not work out to be a stay at home parent.

But unfortunately, I work tomorrow. So right back into the next week.

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One thought on “Introverts, boundaries, and a 5 year old

  1. tlc4women says:

    This is when you need a quiet activity that you pull out just for these kinds of days. A special portable CD player with a story that she can listen to in her room ‘only if she can listen to it by herself because she is so grown up now’.

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