5 a.m. song

A really weird thing happened last night… ok, well, actually, this morning.

I woke up, out of the blue, to a song in my head. Not like I woke up and it happened to be there…. the song was like the focus.. I think the song is actually what woke me up.

(Even more odd when you consider that most of the time I don’t have dreams I remember at night… and the ones that I do remember tend to be special… but that’s another post).

I’ve only heard this song once before…. sat night, at the first prayer meeting i’ve attended at this church.

Which probably makes a good opportunity to go back and comment on that a little more.

The meeting was really interesting…. not what I think I expected, but very awesome.

Smaller meetings in charismatic churches can sometimes end up kind of interesting… so even though the church has seemed very well balanced and, well, sane… I think somewhere inside I was worried a bit… fearing a flashback to the way out in left field church meetings I guess

But this was very calm… very mellow… no jumping around, shouting, strange physical behaviors, anything of that sort.

But, yet, still probably the most intense meeting I’ve been to since probably high school or so.

It was sort of an ebb and flow thing…. silent prayer times, mixed with spoken prayer when someone felt led, mixed with worship songs with just a guitar and drum… not the songs commonly done on sunday, but older ones, selected as someone felt like they wanted to do that one. Sometimes they had it on the computer for lyrics, sometimes not… sometimes only 1 or 2 people knew a particular verse, but it went smoothly anyway.

The meeting in general really reinforced that this is the church where I need to be right now.

Though I think I caught myself a bit. As I mentioned in the really short post, I’m really starting to wonder if the sudden mental distractions that get into my head are actually a sort of a defense mechanism. If I’m actually creating them to deflect the intensity… like a random topic shift in a conversation to avoid the issue when it gets too heated for comfort.

So focus ended up being a bit of a personal focus, if you will. Something I’m still kind of batting around and wondering about.

But, back to the song.

I don’t think I’d heard it before… though, probably more likily, I’ve heard it and just never paid attention to it in particular enough to have much of a memory of it.

When I got home the other night, I googled for lyrics for two of the other songs that had caught me… but that one hadn’t crossed my mind…. and here it is, waking me from sleep with a weird urgency that wouldnt let me ignore it and go back to sleep for my remaining hour and a half.

I searched on a couple of lines, got a better title from that, searched again including the title, had an mp3 of it unexpectedly pop up and start downloading itself (gotta love safari) when I clicked on one of the results… let it open itself into itunes, and set it on repeat. but I think i fell back asleep before it even finished the second round.

Very weird. A sort of appropriate song to be doing that. But no less weird for being appropriate.

the song (if you were wondering by this point)
Light the Fire Again (Brian Doerksen)

Don’t let my love grow cold
I’m calling out
Light the fire again
Don’t let my vision die
I’m calling out
Light the fire again

You know my heart, my deeds
I’m calling out
Light the fire again
I need your discipline
I’m calling out
Light the fire again

I am here to buy gold
Refined in the fire
Naked and poor
Wretched and blind I come
Clothe me in white
So I won’t be ashamed
Lord, light the fire again

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