So where did my mind go from the end of the last entry (ignoring the computer update)?
To Jesus’ diaper rash.
Yes, my mind works in odd ways sometimes. And often the way it gets ahold of big concepts is by getting ahold of smaller ones…. in the way looking at a lake helps you understand an ocean.
The problem with that comes when what I’m looking at isn’t even a lake. It’s closer to a teaspoon of water.
You see, I can’t imagine deliberately choosing to become human. To have pain. To have all of the problems humans have from the moment they were born. If I had an option, I think personally I’d prefer to pass on that one.
Just think about all of the things you’d be agreeing to right away to be your average, normal human baby. For that matter, even the birth process can’t be very pleasant. But once you’ve arrived, to agree to be in diapers, to not have control of even bodily functions? To be completely at the mercy of someone else, and an inexperienced mother at that.
I’ve always hated the “teamwork building” project sometimes used where they make you fall backwards into the arms of your teammates. To me, if it takes fear and the association of the relief of the fear to make you feel like your team is trustworthy, your team has bigger issues. But it does seem to strike a nerve with many people… its difficult for most people to put that trust forward even though they know the outcome. They know they will be caught even before falling.
If its hard for me to trust just for briefly falling backwards even knowing the result, can you imagine willingly trusting to become totally helpless? To become totally and completely dependant not by force but by choice?
This time of year the story has become commonplace. But can you really even imagine, being a God, and choosing to willingly become a baby stuck into a cattle feeder of hay? Of all the things to be experiencing, in all of the places to be, in all of the eras to be born, in all of the honor you deserve…. to have diaper rash in a time before superabsorbant diapers and fancy rash creams?
When it really comes down to it, I’m not sure I could even imagine just willingly choosing the diaper rash part. Let alone all of the other baby related things, let alone the eventually agony and death.
I mean, really, would you choose to submit to that sort of irritation and pain, just for the sake of someone whose own choices lead them to need you to in the first place?
But then I think of a few people I would do so on their behalf. Why? Because they are people I love.
I can’t grasp the kind of love that would willingly make the choice to become a human because of me. Heck, I felt bad even having to have someone help me get my car unstuck from the snow in a parking lot.
But I can grasp the little, dim reflections of it as seen in weak human love, and can only try to imagine the magnitude of something I know I would never be able to grasp with my weak human mind.
But I wouldn’t want it any other way. As tiny as my human mind and heart are, if I could entirely understand, God would have to be pretty small. I’d rather have love the size of an ocean that I can only imagine looking at my spoonful of water than have a love the size of a teaspoon that I can understand entirely.