Armadillos don’t fly

I want to be a duck, I decided. I’m kinda duck shaped anyway, so add on some nice water repellant feathers so that all this junk that keeps flying at me just drips off and doesn’t soak me.

But wait… some of its both pretty sticky, and rather sharp. I don’t think feathers are enough cushioning… and the junk might just make a mess of my feathers by staying there. I want to be an armor plated duck. That was I just get minor dents if anything instead of bruises and broken spots that sometimes take forever to heal back over, and may always leave a bit of a scar.

An armadillo! That’s sort of like an armored duck! I want to be an armadillo!

Then came the gentle nudge… armadillos don’t fly.

I tried for the argument that wounded ducks don’t either… but it didn’t take.

I couldn’t help but notice how few live armadillos I’ve seen, out of the billions of dead ones by the side of the road. They may be well armored against smaller harms, but their protection over the little stuff makes them too heavy and slow and makes them easy targets for the huge stuff.

Ok… so not an armadillo, not an armored duck… but a normal duck maybe. But then I still have the sticky feather issue when the junk is too gunky to drip off on its own.

New nudge… you are washable.

I suppose that’s a good point too… junk washes off skin better than it does all of the little feathers of protection. But that still leaves me wet and uncomfortable, and sore.

But sores heal. Dents do not. Sore spots give you feedback to where injury is being caused to deal with it… feathers may pad an initial small bump, but what if in padding the small bump they allow it to be ignored until it becomes a much more damaging wound, where the precautions taken after the small sore spot might have prevented it.

Ok. So no feathers.

But the junk is still sticking… even with the regular washing I try to seek to prevent it.

Then I suppose I need to look for stronger pressure from my water source. Got a power sprayer?

But I couldn’t handle a power sprayer. I just read a random thing about them a while back and how used wrong they can take off skin. Too much of what I’m made of is too similar to the junk I want removed to be removed by massive force.

Ok… so I don’t need a new source… I just need more flow of the current one.

And a towel. Can I at least get a towel? It’s still wet… even if it mostly washes off.

Another nudge… wet isn’t uncomfortable when you move yourself into the warm sun instead of the air conditioning.

Sigh.

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