At my seasonal job, there were about three people that I got to know enough that I would call them friends. All three I have added to facebook.
But it’s sort of interesting.
One is the person that I got to know the best. She’s one of those people who is upbeat but in a real way, not the forced cheerleader type of feel, but one who seems to truly feel that way.
But her facebook statuses totally do not show it. They hint at things like a lost baby, a lost relationship… in a vague enough way that I honestly couldn’t guess whether the guy is dead or things are just over… whether the baby died or was aborted or adopted (She has no kids, and has never in person mentioned this one)
It just seems so polar opposite to the girl I know… the one who stayed sane and looking for the bright side even when the rest of us were pulling our hair out.
But, in a way, I get it. Both the way hurting thoughts go away when there are other things to be doing and things going on, only to come back at alone down times when given a chance…. and also the need to work through it in writing sometimes, and sometimes in a way that you might never get to openly talk about it with someone in person.
And, honestly, I think in a lot of ways this blog is more similar than I want to admit sometimes.
And I think she’d probably be as surprised at the content here as I was of her page.
In general, my posts here tend to have a negative balance.
Always have had, and probably always will be.
Not so much because I’m someone who never sees the positive… some of the friends that know me best would probably call me goofy and nutty and rarely serious.
But because the stuff that ends up here is the stuff that isn’t going to be talked about in person. It’s sort of the leftovers of life… that need to go somewhere and be processed and dealt with … and so they go here.
Positive things are easy to share most of the time, but nobody likes to be vented at much… or to hear about past hurts… or current woes and fears.
And especially when I tend to be a more guarded person with people in person, I’m generally not going to get into those sorts of conversations unless forced to.
So, if you ever wondered… why things seem so much more negative leaning here and different from what conversations tend to be in real life or even on other websites… that’s my reasoning on the difference.
Maybe not the most enjoyable for reading… but, well, it’s honest anyway, even when it’s focusing on the parts of life that live in the shadowy spots of the day and not the brightest spots of sunshine.
I should probably work on posting more about the sunny places too and balance things out more… but somehow, there’s rarely as much that feels like it just needs to be written out on those. 🙂