Hanging by shoestrings

I’ve sort of mentioned it in passing before, but I don’t think I’ve gone into detail about the housing situation.

My mom and stepdad own the house where we currently live.

All the bills are my own, and I’ve paid rent. All appliances are mine. All basic upkeep has been mine with the exception of gutters.

All the improvements like painting and repairs have been done by me or paid for by me, and basically I’ve been left on my own to deal with anything that went wrong that I normally would have been dealt with by a landlord… including flooding basement issues, heating and cooling issues, and plumbing issues.


This has always been just a verbal agreement… and the vast majority of the time, rent has been paid either in cash, or by deposit into the account my stepdad uses to pay the bills for it with.

And.. my stepdad has never been much of a fan of me or my older brother. (He tolerates the younger one a lot more…)

And.. things have been messy with things with him in general. See the entry on the tree of spite.

And then the issue comes into play that there has been a lot of issues going on in their marriage. Trying not to go into details here that are not mine to give, but there’s been a long history of things that could have been serious marriage-ending issues that were ignored and pretended like they weren’t happening.

Until now.

When things came to a breaking point on the financial battles… and it came to light that he’s been living with someone else for at least two months during the time that he’s supposedly been out of town for work.
(His job does involve travel several times a week for work, each for unknown periods of time, legitimately… he apparently thought this wouldn’t be noticed)

And so, divorce has been filed, and there’s probably not a snowball’s chance of a change of mind.

But, this makes for a very uncertain position right now.

Well, actually for a while now.. starting with being told “soon”, then “in a few months”, then “when ___ is done”, then “maybe not for a while”, then abruptly “the papers are being filed in court tomorrow”.

For the moment, mom has custody of both houses.

However.. if he decides to fight for this one, considering she has the other one, there’d probably not be much battle to get the court to split it that way.

Does he want it? No… he has an apartment with someone… and he’s never wanted to do the work that the house needs… and it’s worth way less than the loan.

Does he want to be a pain to my mom? Entirely possible… and entirely possible that he’d see us being here as the way to do it.

Actually, I’m fairly expecting him to call the state to make a child complaint or something just to aim at her through us… but that hasn’t happened thus far.

In any case… with no lease or other paperwork, if he does try, its a pretty sure bet we’re going to be moving on really short notice… if he decides to get an eviction notice involved to be a total jerk, possibly 3 days.

And even if he doesn’t try, with the current loan, in all likelihood, the house will probably end up sold, no matter how things go… because taking custody means taking the loan for more than its worth.

How long will it drag out till that point? No clue.

Current plan B is to move in with mom.

Which, for the record, is not really my favorite plan. Living with my parents after about age 21 or so just really sucks… nor is it a good thing on situations of parenting and with our cats and that sort of thing… but, unfortunately, is probably the least sucky of my current options.

However, things are never that simple.

Because, there’s always the battle over the house where mom lives.

She alternates between reminding me that theres a chance she might not be living there either… and acting offended when I mentioned to my brother some apartment possibilities I’d been looking at that might allow me to squeak by financially on just the job program stipend if it came to plan C… and discussing storage vs craigslist for the appliances, which is a bridge that’s likely to be crossed in either case.

So. We’re probably moving soon.

When? No idea.

Where? Not sure yet.


Somehow it always seems like my life ends up with more open question marks floating around it than the average life should.

Any idea how annoying and overwhelming it is to try an consider starting to pack, and getting tripped up by having to make about 5 categories based on whether or not it will be needed if any particular conditions align?

For example: kitchen stuff wouldn’t be needed if living with mom so then they would go to storage, would be needed almost immediately in an apartment move, but mostly can’t be packed yet if its going to be several months before the move, but need to be semi-ready to go at three days notice if needed so can’t be just left as they were either.

It’s february… if I pack summer stuff away, am I going to be unpacking it again and trying to hunt it down in the boxes when it gets warm spells in april?

Have I mentioned I hate moving? LOL


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