Snapping on carpets

So I go down the street at 1:30 in the morning to reconfigure my mom’s modem… because she hit the reset button to try to get it to reconnect instead of following the directions I’d texted her back at 1am after she’d texted me about it.

And before I’d even gotten started on this middle of the night favor for her, got jumped on about how my having cats and not being a good enough housekeeper is going to be the cause of her life being entirely screwed up.

Because as expected, she found out that stepdad is going to try to keep the house they’ve lived in, which is much nicer and has more bedrooms and a finished basement…. and make her take this one.

Which her lawyer has already told her is not likely to be the outcome.

And so now she’s convinced that he’s going to tell the judge or the lawyers that her family has trashed the place, and its unlivable, and they will send people in to inspect it… and because you can tell that cats live here and i dont clean enough that will make her lose the other house.. and this will ruin her life.

Now, you have to remember… this is my mother… who the one and only time that anything i’ve cleaned has ever been good enough for her, it was a room that was completely and totally empty except for a desk that had absolutely nothing on it or in it (not even a chair), and a litter box.

So by her standards, I’m a slob. Which is fine by me… as I choose actually live in my home instead of insisting it look perfect like a hotel or model home 24/7.

But you gotta love how suddenly everything becomes my fault here… even in a situation that I have nothing to do with.

So if things do go wrong and she doesn’t get that house, instead of blaming the cheating stepdad or the court setup or the lawyer or whoever… suddenly its all on me.

Gee, thanks…

And so she starts screaming about how my priority needs to be cleaning the carpets with the carpet shampoo-er 5 or 6 times…. and dumping gallons of fabreeze… etc etc etc so that nobody can tell cats have lived here.

Even though she has cats too.

And my brother tells her that her house smells like cat too.

And even though I’m supposed to be trying to deal with packing right now too.

And so then she goes on about how anything that’s more than ten years old needs to be thrown away… and so we get into territory from last time I had a family member help me move… that just because they choose to never read and don’t own books and cd’s and such doesn’t mean that I make the same choices… and it’s my stuff and my life and my choice if I want to keep my books.

As if I wasn’t already stressed enough with trying to make ends meet on a very part time and unpredictable on hours job… trying to get school stuff sorted out for next year if its possible to make it work… trying to deal with a kid who is acting out worse like she does every time something changes.. and trying to figure out where we are going to be moving and when.

Carpet that really needed to be ripped out years ago anyway is somehow not quite as high on my list of priorities… especially when the place already has worse problems caused by the fact that the “landlord” hasn’t done anything to fix them.

I so so so seriously need a job with enough hours to move out to an apartment of my own and just leave all the drama behind.

one more reminder of why ending up living with my mom is going to be a really bad outcome even if it ends up being the best one i’ve got right now.

And yes, I did get the internet reconfigured. Sigh.

Who needed sleep tonight anyway?

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