Nervous

Classes start tomorrow.

And I’m seriously getting nervous.

Even more so than the first classes when I started back.

Remembering that I only even got accepted to the class on the wait list.. and didn’t make it at all into the other ones… I’m basically on the bottom rung of people that they least expect to be able to make it in this program.

Except for up to maybe 4 others from the wait list, I’m their last choice.

Are they right? Am I even going to be able to do this?

And the person at my interview that seemed to be the least impressed with me and that I figured would be the one against me in the program? Well, the paperwork that came in the mail lists her as the person who will be in charge of my clinical parts of the program, and be my advisor.

So starting off on great footing here. 😦

There’s a good part of me right now that feels really chicken…. and is wondering if I’m insane to even be trying this..

And it’s backed up by wondering how financing is even going to work out past this first round, because loans and stuff gets thrown off by the fact that I have to attend summer semesters too and so it gets divided 3 times instead of 2… which means I’m going to have to come up with about $300 or $400 for each semester this year that won’t be covered by loans… in addition to paying for books. And who even knows about next year yet.

This is crazy… and I’m nervous… and not even feeling all that sure that I want to go ahead with it.

But then, I felt that way last year too. And I toughed out the hard part, and it all came through.

Here’s hoping this year does the same.

Or at least that it isn’t too painful if it doesn’t.

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