I woke up this morning, by nothing in particular, from a pretty vivid dream.
In this dream, I had a job manning a small vendor booth at some sort of outdoor area. State fair, something like that… outdoors and crowded with a mix of different people.
But I kept making small mistakes on literally every single order. Nothing huge, but nothing was exactly right.
I was the only person working the booth at this time, even though it was really busy… so it’s not like there was a supervisor yelling at me.. and for that matter even the customers were polite.
But I just kept getting more and more hopeless feeling every single time that someone pointed out what was wrong with their order. And more and more discouraged. And more and more hard on myself as I would think that at last I had this order right, only to find out it had something wrong and be crushed again.
Now, I should probably try to explain what I was doing.
You see, this booth had three different types of customers.
The most straightforward were the people who wanted tacos. But there was some sort of special on very large numbers of them, and they had absolutely no wrapping or plates to put them on… so I was handing these people big handfuls of tacoshells… and so the tacos weren’t cooperating.
Second, this booth was a library. But not just any library… it was some sort of connected cooperative library to where different books could be handed to different people who had cards from that particular library… each with its own different policies and procedures to check them out, and I kept confusing the different ones with each other.
Third, it was operating some sort of a shoe trade in. Sort of along the lines of bowling shoe counters where the shoes are loose, but then, people also had to turn in a pair of other shoes before they could buy a new pair.
So, none of these were very simple processes… and I probably could have done any of them fairly well anyway if that were the only thing I had to do… but all three at once, I was pulling it off mostly but kept making these simple mistakes. Like miscounting tacos and giving someone 29 instead of 30.
I woke up… and I had to laugh.
Because that’s totally about how my life is!
I’m juggling different, somewhat complicated, mostly unrelated roles… and then getting frustrated at myself over pretty basic non-critical mistakes that I probably wouldn’t make nearly as frequently if I had my whole life focused on just fulfilling that particular role.
But then, maybe that’s everyone’s life. Very few people only do one single thing. Even if it’s just juggling family vs friends… or the role of sister vs the role of daughter…
Maybe I just need to remind myself… it’s just a taco. They get messy, they get miscounted, and they sometimes don’t have everything on them that they should. That’s expected of tacos.
And of taco-serving shoe-trading librarians.