On the side of effort

I’m never really sure where the lines should be on when to accept that a friendship is one that requires more effort from my side of the fence, and when to call it one sided and back away.

There’s always such a blurry area to me.

If I’m the only one who is making the phone calls… at what point do you stop calling?

This year has been a very nutty one with me being really busy… and so it’s only now that things have slowed down a little that I’ve been able to stop and really notice how many of my friendships really died this year, when I didn’t have the time to be the one taking all the initiative.

Now, to be fair, I’ve dropped a lot of balls this year myself in this area… as I mentioned, I pretty much sucked on making the time and effort on building the friendships.

But there are a couple different friends… that I previously considered close friends… that I’m starting to realize that if I never called them or never sent them a message, I would never hear from them at all.

If that happened in a dating relationship, I’d pretty much be deciding that they probably weren’t that into things and were just putting up with me.

At what point do I start to wonder that about friendships?

How do I figure out where they really stand without playing mind games and being the weird chick who goes “finally… it’s been X days since I last called you… you just now got around to noticing?”

And if I decide to just give up and keep being the only initiator anyway, does that make me more invested in the relationship, or just more desperate to put up with what seems like a one sided relationship?


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