This last spell of my life has not been the greatest on friendships.
Relationships are sort of hard to maintain when you are stressed and crazy busy and brain-fried half the time.
But this spell appears that it’s actually going to be worse… because of the second shift thing.
A couple of friendships.. and one closer one in particular… I’m unfortunately discovering to have been a ton more fickle than I thought.. and completely disinterested in connecting if it’s at all inconvenient to them.
And right now… it pretty much has to be. I know that weekends tend to be family times… and I know mornings tend to be busy… and I know they aren’t awake when I get home at midnight.
But that’s all I’ve got to offer right now.
Most of the time I understand that because I tend to keep a close circle of friends rather than a larger one, that friendships are often going to be more of a thing to me than they are to the other person.
I mean, to this particular friend who tends to have no problems making new ones… I’m honestly probably 1 out of 100 in her circle, and easily filled in when lost.
But in my circle… with much fewer people the slices are much much bigger… and it’s a big gap. Especially because she’s one of very few that are in person.
Plus, it addition to the few that I’m feeling second shift issues with… I’m beginning to realize that school is a lot like work, in that even if the person was your best friend while you worked together… it’s really really hard to keep a connection when you no longer have that common glue.
So I’m feeling a bit abandoned there as well… and just as powerless to be able to do much to change the cause.
It’s already pretty crummy to feel sort of discarded when things change… but it feels even worse when you feel like you aren’t even really missed in their lives, while you are really missing them in yours.