good or bad but not both

There are two acceptable ways to meet goals at the new job.

The one that is the one pushed in training is to meet a certain mix of being both high in reservations and short in call time. A certain balance that shows you’ve mastered sales in an efficient manner.

The other way is to be very good at sales, so that you are basically making sales on 7 or 8 out of every 10 calls you answer… at which point, they no longer care about how your time looks.

They claim that they want you to go for the former way…

But, the ones of us who are closest to reaching that point… are the ones that they come down the hardest on for not having the highest sales.

Meanwhile, the ones who are closer to reaching the latter method, get a free pass, even if they still aren’t meeting it.

Right now, I’m in this weird place… where I just got close enough to meeting on the former criteria that I was just the first one in our team to be promoted.

While still being lectured at and being treated like I’m in remedial training.

They have me sitting and learning from someone who is higher on sales… but almost 3 times the talk time.

At which point I came to the realization…. that I make more reservations per night for the company than she does.

Yes, she gets about 6 out of 10 calls…. but when she’s only getting 1/3 of the calls… my 4 out of 10 is actually making more sales per shift.

So, I’m either one of the worst of my team or the best of my team…. and somehow both at once.


Because what the company says matters to them, and what actually matters to the leads on a daily basis and what their bonuses are based on, are actually two different discussions entirely.

And it’s really starting to drive me nuts.

If you really want me to focus only on sales and not time, fine…. then tell me that, and reward that in the system.

If you really do want the balance that you reward with promotions, fine, but have your leadership back that up as well.

Stop telling me that I’m both good and bad at the same time though for doing the exact same thing.


Ever since the first ortho doc visit, I’ve had a shoe insert on the foot with the injured ankle.

It’s less than 1/2 an inch deep… closer to 1/4… but it only fits into one set of my shoes.

And so, with the next doctor’s appointment on the horizon, and with having been out of physical therapy for more than a month, I’ve decided to start wearing other shoes again… without the insert.. and transitioning back to normal life.

It’s amazing how quickly you realize how big something that small really is.

I’ve grown used to walking with it, so that it now totally throws off my balance and my gait when I don’t… and makes both my knee and hip sore.

I didn’t notice the transition when I first started wearing it, because I was still heavily limping from the ankle injury anyway.

But I’m very much noticing it now.

And I’m just amazed at how much difference such a small thing makes… and how quickly it adapted to seem normal.

And sort of wondering at the symbolic… about how many tiny things in my life have thrown me off from “walking” normally and have just been accepted as normal now… when maybe I need to look at whether or not they are still needed, or if they ever were.

Even if it throws me off balance a bit as a result.

special needs and perspective

Worked two events this weekend for a talent show for special needs kids.

It was amazing how completely different it was than every other dance/cheer/whatever event we get.

Not a single parent grumbled about paying admission for a show that their kid was in…. and out of two shows, I only had one single person get grumpy at me at all! Everyone else was totally nice and friendly.

And the audience was honestly cheering for each and every kid instead of just their own… and was actually into it instead of just sitting and waiting for their kid. And almost everyone came in at the start instead of being a distraction later, even the ones whose kids weren’t until the late songs.

And the kids were actually a lot better behaved and less crazy waiting to go backstage than the usual crowd tend to be.

Really pretty impressed… both with the kids and the families.

Amazing how having a bit more perspective makes a complete change in outlooks.

numbers vs feelings

The past couple of days at the new job have seemed like they have gone awful.

But when I come in and check the stats for the next day, they show that the day was pretty average.

Prior to the last few days, I would have said that things were going a lot better than the last time I was writing about it. But then, my stats actually show that things have gone downhill numbers-wise.

I was feeling better about it, even though I was doing worse.

The trend of the past couple of days has made me realize that the factor is actually a distraction… in the form of a particular coworker who is both someone that I can openly vent to about how awful the job is at times, and who is also a good source of humor.

Everyone else grumbles about the job privately but pretends things are going great on the surface. He’s one of the few who will actual admit his frustration, and somehow a discussion over the messenger system about how neither one of us is thrilled… knowing I’m not alone… does a million times more to cheer me up than the biggest cheerful hype.

I didn’t really interact with him much at all in training, but he sat near me not too long after the third bathroom incident… then the next days they changed the system and had us sitting on the other side, so I ended up near him again… and then there was just one pocket of computer that had a really big change to them that helped a lot, so we were both sitting in that area for a while until the rest got changed…

The bad news… is that he’s not someone that will be around for very long. He’s got extensive computer background, and is pretty much sure to get one of the open computer tech positions that are interviewing soon.

But I guess at least it shows me what direction I need to go for making survival easier. Fostering friendships seems to be the key.

the doll

I was walking in the grocery store a couple of days ago, and cut through the Christmas row.

I happened to glance over, and saw a small plastic doll set…. not anything I’d normally have any reason to notice. My kiddo outgrew dolls like these years and years ago.

But a nudge hit.

And suddenly I got the feeling that I should get the dolls, and that one doll in particular should be something physical to be able to hold when praying over someone in particular that’s been on the list a lot lately.

It sounds very weird… but it just seemed the thing to do.

And somehow, it does seem like it helps.

This person isn’t someone that I’m able to really get a chance to pray over in person, but somehow, having something tangible makes it different.

Sort of an odd new development for me.

But working.

Though I wasn’t quite sure how to explain when kiddo asked why I had dolls in my room.

mellow cello

So, kiddo has decided to take up the cello, changing from band to orchestra in school.

And I’ve quickly discovered that cello is a very mellow instrument. So much less obnoxious and grating than the recorder, or the pink violin, or most other band instruments.

I don’t want to be like my parents and allow only instruments based on my preferences… but I really don’t want a trumpet in the house… so I’m pretty happy with the cello right now.

Now just to keep her playing it and liking it so she doesn’t get any other ideas… lol

hotel reinforcements

The new job has been sort of a last resort thing, with a lot of ups and downs, and a situation that I’m still not too sure about.

This weekend, for the first time, I stayed at one of the properties as an employee at a pretty big discount, in spite of my doubts about the job.

We were headed to a town about 2 hours from here, for a concert by one of my favorite artists.

We walked in to check in to the hotel, and there were a couple of people at the desk already. A big group of women were in front of me, with gift bags like they were going to a shower… and a guy was at the other side.

Basic looking guy for the area… wearing jeans and a slightly rumpled denim shirt, ball cap and sunglasses on.. so I didn’t pay much attention to him at first.

Actually, I only even noticed him directly when he made a pretty specific request.

And only then, did I realize that it was the artist that we were going to go see that night.

There were fancier hotels in the area, and cheaper hotels, and ones a lot closer to the venue… but he was staying at this property… the property of the company that I now work for.

Somehow, this makes me feel better about being in the right place career-wise.