Some months back, I wrote a long email to the location director of the new job.
More recently, I wrote a second email on a completely different topic.
I shared the first with some people that I knew shared the same frustrations.
I shared the second with some people who were also involved with the offer made in the email about that situation.
So, only about 3 people got both emails.
In the past couple of days, the situation from email 2 has changed… and suddenly I’m finding out that a lot more people have read that email than I’d sent it to. Given that most of my team had recieved it, that didn’t surprise me too much, nor did it really bother me.
But, from the comments, I figured out that a lot of the people had also seen the first one. Which had only been sent to a handful of people.
Now, granted, many of the issues in the email were later addressed in open meetings… it’s not like this was top secret information contained in it.
But I’m still feeling hurt that it was shared, aparently widely, without mentioning to me that they were sending it on.
I know by following the train who it was… given the few people who had both… and, I know that they had been annoyed with me after the first email because I had chosen to make my concerns addressed in writing rather than in the open discussion.
I had attempted to explain that I communicate better in writing than verbally, and feel like I could develop and get my thoughts together more than in open debate. I’m an introvert, I don’t do well in large group discussion, and I’m not someone who translates thoughts quickly into articulate sentences on the fly. It’s just not one of my strengths.
So now I wonder if that discussion was what prompted her to feel like she could openly share the written thoughts that had been shared with her.
Either way, I think the trust has been broken…. I’m not going to get into any sort of confrontation about it, but I’m going to be more aware that things shared with this person are not likely to be kept between us.
But it frustrates me most because I don’t think that I would have had a problem with it had I known it was happening.
I just feel sort of hurt and ambushed by the fact that I didn’t.