Do you know that point in a conversation…. where you’ve gone into it completely prepared for battle… and instead of an objection you get told “yes”? And suddenly you are sitting there, completely prepared to argue your point against a “no” in an extended way…. but utterly and completely thrown off by not having to fight?
I think that’s part of what is making it hard to wrap my mind around the relationship developments.
It’s sort of a “wait, did you just actually say yes?”
Things are newly developed on the dating front of things… but I’ve been praying and doing battle over this guy and this friendship for a while.
And doing some crying over the “no”s at times… and feeling pretty defeated at times. Because things haven’t been going very smoothly for him at all… and I’d pretty much reached the point of accepting that I would eventually be losing the friendship.
But, in the couple of days before the big “let’s officially date” discussion hit me by total surprise… the primary thing that I’d been praying over him was that he’d realize more the care and concern of his friends…. that he’d be able to feel their love for him.. that he’d be able to access it in his heart… and be strengthened by it….
Before we met for dinner, I had one hope for the night…. to be able to give him a hug. Because with the way things were with work, it had never seemed appropriate… then when he left we never really got to say goodbye… and when I’d seen him after that had been with the kids along where it seemed too likely to be taken the wrong way and make trouble for him…
And so those were my two fresh requests.. for him to be able to access and feel the love that others had for him, and to be able to hug him.
The very last thing I remember praying before going inside was to prepare both of our hearts for the discussion to go where it needed to…. (completely thinking more towards current issues he was facing… totally not thinking towards each other at the time…)
And so it seems like after doing battle…. and being ready for battle…. I just got told “Ok. Here ya go.”
And I’m sort of shocked and stunned…
It’s like somebody just pulled a kid off the bench in a football game who has never actually seen game time…. and tossed a perfect throw to him with nobody at all around to tackle him… just handing him a easy score.
I’m just sort of sitting here going “Really? This is happening? Seriously? That worked?”
Very much a new place for me.