Trudging to firm ground

I like to stop telling the story of my journey there.

It makes a nice, happy ending… it’s a nice stopping point with a conclusion to the story. It’s eventful.

But of course life keeps moving forward.

I like to call the time between then and now the “trudging along” phase.

That sounds a lot more negative than I mean it…. maybe learning phase, or following phase, or climbing phase might be better phrases.

But a lot of times, trudging is more how it has felt.

God would probably label it my whining phase… and he’d be justified in doing so.

It’s been sort of a calm phase. Not particularly uneventful… but nowhere near the angst and battling.

It’s been a lot of following… and a lot of it blindly. And honestly, a good chunk of it that I still haven’t gotten to see exactly how things were part of the bigger picutre.

But, it’s been a lot of seeing things “work themselves out”.

A lot of rounds of having no idea how in the world we made it, but realizing that somehow he got me through it.

A lot of spells of prolonged waiting… (yes and prolonged whining)…

But oddly enough, in spite of the last post… the theme has mostly been gaining confidence.

I have no idea about most things… and I sure don’t agree with his timing… but I am confident that there is an “eventually”.

I have no idea what certain phases was about that honestly seemed to just dead-end… but I know they were about something… and I know it will make sense in the scheme of things as out of place as they look now.

I know for sure that he is on my side. Even when things are seeming pretty bleak and wearying.

Much like the earlier learning phase, it’s been a time where most of my mentors have been people who were more friends walking with me than experts or a set congregation…. but the diversity of mentors has actually been pretty awesome on getting a variety of inputs in different areas.

Likewise, most of the people that I’ve helped and served have also been more outside of the official church, even though I’ve actually been attending the same church throughout most of it. It just hasn’t been where the connections have formed, though it has been a support in feeling like I’m not so in left field beliefs-wise or relationship-wise.

But I’ve also grown a lot in confidence in trusting nudges and my own thoughts on matters. I’m not nearly as easily shaken by the nay-sayers on the occasions they appear.

There’s a firm foundation that wasn’t there before.

Now if there were just a few less pesky waves… 😉


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