Nothing but tears left

a few weeks back, things started changing with the man that i love.

he stopped responding much to messages…. he started not even having time to take an hour or so and go get ice cream.

before that, things had gradually slacked off on the messages from him, but i hadnt worried about it much. and even with this change, i knew he had a lot of things going on…

but it kept going on…

i didnt actually catch on until about 2 weeks ago i got a message in reply that he would be busy for a bit.. but would text me when he was free…. and then i didnt hear anything at all from him the rest of the afternoon and evening.

i think i knew what i was dealing with then…. but i didnt want to be right.

but with the crummy and hurting mood of this week… it sort of came out….

when i first asked in a weak way, i got the expected answer of course i love you.

but still the nagging feeling didnt let up.

and so today, it ended up in a confrontation…. one that i knew was going to hurt his feelings… but it came out anyway.

i pointed out the way things had been going… and that that sort of behavior isn’t signs of someone you want a relationship with…. its someone you just want to have around when you are bored.

he apologized…. but admitted that he’s not sure what he wants right now…. isnt sure how he feels… and wants to put things on the back burned for a bit to give it some time to sort things out.

on the one hand…. i know it needed to come out and be sorted out.

but on the other, i’m sort of kicking myself for not trying to tough it out and work itself out longer.

i love the man dearly… otherwise i’d be calling it as over.

but backing off and giving him the space requested? is killing me.

there’s nothing i can do but pray… when all i want to do is fix things.

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