So tonight is the night of the meeting.
I’m scared to death.
I’m trying to think positive thoughts, but I’m fearing the worst… that this will be the last time in my life that I will get to see the person I love most in the world, and will just get blown off instead of really getting to talk to him.
My goal for the night we had our first date was just to get to give him a hug… and that’s essentially all that’s been agreed to for tonight too. Though even that was agreed to just a few days into this, so doesn’t mean a whole lot on where he’s at now.
This may bring some healing or closure…. but it has a greater chance of being the worst night of my life.
I have no idea what I’m walking into… but I know I can’t keep dealing with things as they are, so walking into it is something I need to do.
Or crawling in. Whatever gets me through this.