So, last night about 4am, I stomped on the hornet’s nest….. the same one I’ve been trying to avoid through this whole thing.
In the middle of the night, when a bit of a wave of anger has peeked through the numb a bit… it made sense to send him an email with the contents of the issues post.
I know I hurt him.
I know I made things worse.
The aftermath became visible on facebook throughout the day…. and got worse and worse.
It reached the point that I was concerned for his well being, and went over to see him…. because I knew he would just blow me off over facebook or phone.
He wasn’t happy to see me. He didn’t want to be having the
conversation…. but he lead the conversation from his well being (my intention), into one that also covered things between us (not my intention).
It was messy and raw…. but it was honest answers.
More so than the meeting…. than the phone call…
So I feel horrible. I feel like I made things worse on him…. like I unleashed the hornets that he’d been trying very hard to keep contained.
But at the same time, there’s at least a bit of peace from the answers. Nowhere near total peace… but an improvement.
There’s still some questions left unanswered…. but today wasn’t the time to address them.