A rant to a prince

you “don’t want to hurt me, but”…. and then you hurt me. so obviously, you did want to…. or the want side was stronger than the dont want side.

you promised me so many times you were there for me… and then suddenly you werent. just days after the last email i have that told me i could always count on you.

does it make you feel better about yourself… like you are all powerful and important and special to be able to cause someone to hurt so much? to be important enough for them to have willingly trusted you with the power to crush their life?

i loved you… still love you…. with everything that i had…. and that wasnt worth enough to you to be worth valuing… the amount you care still isnt enough to outweigh the amount that you feel like treating me like worthless and disposable right now.

i love you… still love you with everything i’ve got… and feel like i always will.

but right now, i really resent you… and really want to hate you.

what does it matter if i know that you do care and arent just a complete jerk at heart…. if it has the same result either way?

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