The first un-teary day

Yesterday, there were no tears. ๐Ÿ™‚

That sounds a bit weird… but, with the exception of the one day post meeting when things were re-opened, this is actually the first day that I can say that since he ended things.

I’m sure they aren’t completely over yet though…. but its movement in the right direction.

There were 4 waves that came pretty close yesterday though.

– When there was progress on something that I’ve been having to strategically wait out… my first impulse was to want to email him and tell him about how my strategy was working.
– When a bit after realizing that there are only three weeks until school starts, when I was wondering if his boys have moved out of state yet to get ready for the new year… and I really wondering if he was ok and wished I were there to be with him, wished I could hug him.
– When I found myself wondering how his day had gone, what he’d been up to, and how he was doing.
– When I was just hit with a random lonely spell…. and just wished I could call and talk to him… or see him… or even text…

So two were cases that I missed having him in my life…. which are easy enough to try and direct towards other friends.
The other two were cases where I wished I were still in his… those ones are a bit harder to fill in.

But, all four would have been enough to drive me straight to big messy tears at this time last week.

And now, they didn’t. They hurt, but they were bearable.

It’s movement.
It’s progress.
It’s hope that eventually it won’t be as bad, won’t hurt as much, and will all be in the past.

Things are getting better…. finally. ๐Ÿ™‚


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