This morning was one of those mornings where you could see the sunbeams coming out from behind a cloud’s shadow and going across the sky.
One particular cloud was closer to me than another one… and so, part of the first cloud’s shadow blocked part of the cloud from getting directly in the beam, which made most of the cloud glow bright white, while the rest on each side was still a bit grey.
That felt like a good analogy of how I’m feeling right now.
Mostly things are back into the sunshine… but there are some areas still looking a bit grey… a bit shadowy.
But my body is physically finally catching up with where my mind finally made it about a week ago, and is now finally getting on board.
When I’d originally purchased the non-workbook book, I still wasn’t really sure that I was looking at the right path… but the emotional symptoms I was dealing with matched a whole lot better than the general grief and codependancy ones I’d been looking at previously… so I figured it couldn’t hurt to explore that direction.
And I found that the book hit the emotional symptoms dead on… even down to some cravings that I’d have never actually admitted to anyone.
But it also went into physical symptoms… hitting those dead on as well… again including some that I would have never mentioned.
And it went into great detail as to exactly what was causing those symptoms… what was triggering the primal fear response but also what chemicals that was releasing into your system that created the symptom. It even explained the two competing hormones that create the situation with eating being very hit or miss.
It was a bit boring at first… but then I came to really appreciate it… because it made it so much easier to relax about them, knowing why they were happening. Knowing it was normal… that there was a reason… and that they would go away.
Now I’m finally starting to see them doing so.
Finally sleeping more… having less post-meal aftermath incidents… finally getting my shoulder muscles to stop cramping and relax some… not being as jumpy… having more of my systems finally going back to normal and out of danger mode.
But, the interesting thing was… while I knew some of the things were clearly related… there were a lot of other things that I’d never connected.
Actually, at the doctors appointment just after the meeting (6 weeks in), the blood tests showed that my chemical levels were majorly out of whack enough that they decided to do a referal to a new
It never occurred to me that it might be connected…. that what was causing the weight loss and not eating and not sleeping and obsessive thoughts might be dumping chemicals into my system to do so that would show up as being off on tests.
It’s still more than a week before my specialist visit…. wonder how much different the blood tests will look then.