Now that I’ve finally gotten a grip on things, I know that I don’t need Prince Charming, nor is he irreplaceable as I’d once felt.
Yes, I do still miss him… but I’ve accepted that things will never be as they were, life has moved on, and things are very different now. For both of us.
While I don’t want to get into any sort of a deep relationship right now, my previous stance that I would not date again has changed.
Which has me thinking about what I really want in a relationship…. what I really don’t want… what I need if things are to get serious with someone again… what I can’t tolerate if things get serious so need to beware of before they do…
And so, I’ve made my lists… as much as I know they will shift a bit as things progress.
But the thing that I don’t know how to get…. don’t know how to find…. is the sort of a natural connection that Prince Charming and I had.
I did a lot of dating during my rebellion spell… and never did I ever have anything like that. How do you go about finding that again, or deliberately creating it?
There was just a way that we clicked… a way that it felt like I’d known him forever.
It was honestly the first time in my life that I’ve felt like another human really completely understood me… and yet, still challenged me and my thinking gently and without even seeming to try to.
I’ve never been one to believe in soulmates… to believe that one person had another assigned person without which they wouldn’t be complete…. but if there was a person who would have convinced me of that, it would have been Prince Charming.
How do you go about trying to find that again when it’s something so rare? Where do you even start?
Maybe it just comes down to looking for what you do know that you need…. and assuming that the rest will eventually either fall into place or fall out of place if it isn’t the right fit.
Knowing that I can’t really be hurt worse than I have been… and knowing that I don’t need a partner and that I’m not dependent on one but that I can choose to look for someone to keep me company and be a companion… maybe looking for the connection initially is a bit much to ask anyway.
Right now, I’m more of looking for an affectionate male best friend with hopes of someday that growing into more… so maybe the connection is something that will come someday to let me know which one is the one to keep forever and not just for a spell of my life. The one that it’s truly safe to let myself depend on…. and let myself become seriously attached to.