Ya know, I never thought that I’d see a day that I would find love for someone as being unwelcome. It’s just sort of a weird place… love is one of those things you just always expect to be something that you strive for, that you seek, that you work to build.
It’s never something that you really stop and think about
unbuilding… that always seems to happen on its own and be what you are fighting a constant battle against.
So its a weird place to be right now.
I’ve chosen to move on. Chosen to allow my own needs to create the decision for closure in the situation where I was being harmed by a lack of concern and value for my heart.
Over the past couple of weeks, a lot of healing has taken place. Emotions have subsided except for an occasional glip. The storm has calmed.
Peace has come… and even hope. I’ve had my worst fear come true and lived… what’s the worst that can happen now?
In spite of the great hurt he caused, I’ve chosen to forgive him.
I feel safe in saying that I’m ok now. Life is moving on.
But what do you do about that lingering love? That nagging feeling that still persists…
What do you do with it when it’s not something that’s returned, not something you’ll ever be able to act on, and not something that brings any positive element to the equation?
What do you do with it when you’ve chosen to detach from that which already long since detached from you, and that which you’d spent time and effort building with the intention of strength and permenancy is now the very thing that seems to create an unneeded tie to an already closed past?
When you’ve released your strained grip on the line, and found to your surprise that the tension didn’t slacken, what next? When letting go and reaching ahead, grabbing for new things, didn’t bring the complete release that was expected, what then?
What weapon will sever the chain that holds you to something harmful and cease the false guilt as you move towards renewal, towards hopeful lands, towards the future?
Will time eventually do its work if you just keep moving forward anyway?