So, as I mentioned, I’d found the prince’s profile, because he’d found mine.
And I found that I would have completely ignored it had it been another guy’s profile.
And so, last night, knowing he got hurt by a rejection last week, I sent him an email.
Offering help for his profile.
Oh yes, I did.
Not entirely sure what prompted it… but I did.
Telling him that he is way more awesome than his current profile shows him to be.
Telling him that as someone who would really like a clone of him, I could offer some insights into what I’d have responded to, and so what another girl who would really be looking for someone just like him would probably respond to as well.
I told him to show off his smart and funny sides… because any girl who likes him is going to be a girl who would love those things.
I told him some details and specific suggestions as to what would have made me connect with his profile.
And I told him a bit indirectly about the key to online dating.
That key… is elimination.
There are a million people on these sites.
The more of them you can eliminate as Mr Wrong, it becomes much much easier to find Mr Right.
So I told him to turn up the silly… with the intent to scare off anyone not in love with silly guys. Because, if she doesn’t have a high tolerance of silly, she’s not going to work out for him long term. And the girls who do like silly guys, will be all over it.
I told him to be up front about certain areas like weight, because if they are scared off by it, they would have been eventually anyway, so it’s better to scare them off before you have wasted time and effort and gotten your hopes on them.
That’s how you avoid rejection.. or at least as much of it. You give them enough info so that they can already know that they aren’t into you before either of you have an investment in the process.
It isn’t the time for convincing someone that something that they don’t find appealing can become so if given a shot… its for looking for the ones that already like what you have to offer.