The scary forming of the end

Well, there is a plan in place.

There is a date set.

It’s not tomorrow, nor even this week… but a decision has been made to set a deadline on the allowance of brain time….on the allowance of time investment.

Until that point, there is a short allowance for preparation. To let myself get ready. To let myself know the time left to wrap it up. Basically, I think she intends to try to push it to get me to get all remaining ends that may come loose in the future to do so now.

No further contact online, by phone, or by gift unless initiated by him. If he has not already been deleted from my facebook by the deadline, or deleted me, he will be removed at that point.

It scares the snot out of me. I’m nowhere near the place of hurt and anger that I was the last time I tried to do so…. so the fuel that pushed the last round isn’t there to fuel it again.

It’s made me cry several times tonight.

It’s hard. No way around it. It just is.

But the deadline is reasonable… and there’s a good reason for putting it where it is.

It’s fair… and it needs to happen. Eventually, it will be good.

But man… it still makes me tremble.

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