So, as I’d mentioned, I’d been talking a little bit with a couple of guys on the dating website.
Nothing serious… just chatting.
One of them my friends really don’t like because he reminds them a lot of the prince, one lives too far away to really be practical to actually see each other in person…
The third guy seemed to have some potential. There wasn’t really any deep emotional draw yet, but he had a job, seemed like he has his life mostly together, that sort of practical thing.
He was divorced, had shared custody of his 4 year old which kept him somewhat limited on messages sometimes, but lived alone other than when his son was around.
I’d been talking with him off and on for a while… nothing too deep or sensitive, just general chat… and he’d made no indications that he wanted to take things offline, but then, he did know about the limits on driving from the knee injury.
Well, I’d started messaging a new guy, who seemed a bit weird… so I used google image search on his profile pic to see where else it was used.
You’d be amazed how many people use the same profile pics for everything, and forget that google can search by image… which if it’s also used on a page that has your name, gives someone that info even if it isn’t on the site you are using to talk to them.
So, the weirdish guy just had some goofy youtube comments and some foursquare checkins that came up. Nothing too odd.
But while I already had it open, I decided to check the other guy.
And I got to his google+ page, which gave me his last name.
And so I ended up on his facebook page from that, even though the pics on it were slightly different… but still clearly him and his son.
And on that page, were a lot of public posts.
Including the one showing that he got married last month. That had a bunch of congrats messages on it, including ones with the same last name that I would assume would be relatives… and so would likely know if it was just a joke.
And including posts on his page as recent as the day before that were made by his wife, that seemed to be friendly.
And one just before the marriage that she’d tagged him in that mentioned he’d been approved for disability. He’d told me he worked full time at a certain place, and hadn’t mentioned any disabilities at all.
Ok, so obviously that’s the end of the conversation with that guy, and he’s going to be completely blocked.
Even if he just wants chatting, I have no need to get involved with anything with that much potential for being a mess when I’m not emotionally invested in doing so at all at this point.
But I’m not quite sure if I should say anything. To him, or to his wife.
On one hand, I would probably want to know that my guy was leading women into thinking he was available on dating sites, even if he was just chatting… just to be aware to for signs of more than chatting.
But one of my friends pointed out… if she’s into him enough that she just married him a month ago, she’s probably not going to believe anything that can’t be proven yet, or maybe even if it could.
And with me, it has just been general chatting.
But he’s definitely been deceptive with me about his life situation.
But… even better… when I went back to the name and city search results I’d done once I got the last name, it had also pulled up a public mugshot from an arrest for a probation violation… thus meaning there had been previous arrests for who knows what.
And this had been the guy who seemed stable and like he had everything together!
So I’m very glad that I didn’t end up emotionally involved with this guy. I actually have no reluctance in the least bit on blocking him completely.
Sometimes adopting my daughter’s cats and becoming a crazy cat lady sometimes seems like a sane and sensible choice when compared to sorting stable guys from the ones who either don’t really want a relationship, or aren’t in a position right now to offer one even if they wanted to.