The last choice

There’s an effect that I’ve noticed happening gradually.

The more and more the swoon of being head over heels in love fades… the less I think of the prince. But, the less I think of the prince, the less I think of myself.

Ya know… I loved him more than I realized that I could love. I made a lot of moves that I’d change if I had the chance to do-over… but I can honestly say I gave it my best.

And that wasn’t worth a thing.

Wasn’t even worth the attempt to address issues and spending any effort to try to see if it could be changed.

Yeah, it’s entirely possible that he was just using me… but, even taking love completely out of his side…. he had me hook line and sinker. He had me willing to give him just about anything he wanted… to spoil him and make him happy as best as I could. He had me willing to put up with being treated like worthless trash and still eager to be back with him.

How much do you have to not be able to stand someone to give up having a really good position of someone that willing to do whatever for you… and not even feel like they are worth putting up with enough to use anymore? When there was no threat in sight of them ever putting an end to it?

How crummy do you have to be that not even the user wants to use you?

The more and more he seems like a total mess, the more and more it feels like trying to feel like you are at least a passable athlete when even the kid who is always picked dead last in gym class doesn’t even want to be your partner.

If my best and my everything can’t even attract a loser for long, what chance do I think I have with a decent guy?

Dating really really sucks.

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