Somehow it’s crazy to me that it’s already December.
Time moves forward… and life goes forward, even when it’s just one foot in front of the other…
Which is pretty much life right now… just moving from one task to the next… and the day goes, followed by the next.
It seems like not much changes… like not much progress is made… but as my therapist has pointed out recently, there is small progress accumulating.
It’s easy to see all of the things that I still want to have be different, that I still feel and don’t want to feel, and completely miss that things are actually a lot better than they have been.
This week made 2 months since the last time I’ve contacted K. That would have been unthinkable not that long ago.
And at this point, it’s not honestly a challenge to keep it anymore. While I still find christmas gifts that I really wish I could get for him, and things like christmas goodies I wish I could share with him, even an item I think he would really like that I wish I could make for him… there really hasn’t been much temptation anymore on emailing him, or of refriending him or messaging him on facebook. Unless his stance has changed, there really isn’t anything left to say that he hasn’t already heard.
So I may not be where I want to be…. but I’m still moving, even if it seems like its very slowly.