As I’ve gone into on here before… I’m someone who believes in spiritual guidance and that God directs the things I encounter on my path (even when they seriously suck, as this past year has)
Tonight, I found something out. Completely unintentionally.
From a source that I haven’t had any contact with since September until tonight, and only very limited contact before that.
It’s something that had I found it out at any point between this spring and last week, it wouldn’t have really had any meaning at all. Just sort of an interesting thing… that I would have been very interested in, but not really had it matter at all.
Last week, something shifted that gave it meaning, and suddenly, out of the blue, this source comes back into my life today in a roundabout way (I’d long since written them off), and just happens to hand me this info not knowing that it had any significance at all… just sort of in the normal flow of things…
I don’t believe it would be coincidence.
It’s just one of those too unlikely timing to suddenly happen by chance.
But… I really haven’t the foggiest idea what I’m supposed to do with this new information either.
What am I supposed to make of this? Why are you telling me this now? What does this info change that I needed to know this?
I really have no idea what to think about it.
It sort of reinforces something that I’d already assumed… but… it’s not actionable. There isn’t anything that I can do with this knowledge, even with it having significance.
But what’s more…. is that the book this info belongs to is a book I’ve considered closed. Why add anything more to a closed book?
Anyone reading around here probably already figures it… so yes, it’s K related info.
He has very firmly closed the door even to friendship. I wouldn’t have really had the info be anything of real note until after the events of last week, but, the K book is firmly closed, I’m still working on cleaning up with lingering effects of it but making strong progress in that direction… why in the world give me significant info from it now? When it doesn’t really have any application except messing with my perceptions and making it harder to force everything connected with it out of my brain?
I want to write it off as just dumb luck on the timing… but, like I said, it’s a bit too weird for me to honestly say I believe that.
But this is one of these cases where I really wish I could just go "Explain."
The info itself makes me a bit sad and hurt… but the fact that the info randomly got tossed in my lap at all has me frustrated. What am I supposed to do with this? Why tell me this? Why does this matter at all that I know it anymore?