So… there was a part B to the interesting events of the other day.
And it might actually explain a bit of my response better.
Just hours after I found out the new info… I went online to tease a guy that I was chatting with a few months ago just as friends about a comment he’d made back in about August about snow the week before Christmas (because we’d gotten it).
I’d discovered that where I’d been off the dating site for so long with the new guy, that it had deleted my messages, and the friend apparently has his profile hidden right now. I hadn’t bookmarked it. So I couldn’t get it to give me the option there.
So, I went over to one of the junk dating sites, where I knew he was also active.
In particular… the one where I’d had the question about having children with someone.
I hadn’t been back on the site since then. The last email I show was August 7th.
I knew he was on the site, but I’d never messaged him there, so I ran a search to find him.
And ended up running across one of K’s profiles in the process.
Now, I did know he had a profile on the site… but even when I was on the site back then, he’d abandoned it already. He hadn’t been on since June. So, I really did not expect it to show up… I expected it to be inactive.
But of course, it was extra weird timing given that after two months of essentially seeing nothing about him and hearing very little, I’d randomly just gotten some new info earlier in the same day.
So I checked it out, and a bit of info seemed sort of odd… so I decided to run a search for the cached version to see if it had the old info, and if so, if it said the same thing.
And found that the cache version had just been updated recently… and as of that update, he still hadn’t been on since June.
So… in summary…
I’m happening to message a guy I haven’t talked to in more than two months… have to go to a site that I haven’t been to in more than 4 1/2 months… and run into the fact that K has very recently been back on after more than a 6 month spell of not being on it…. and this happens of all days to be the one day that I’d found out something related to him hours earlier (which in itself was another story of interesting timing)
I think I can officially call that weird.
I really don’t remember if I’ve gone into it much here or not… but there used to be a bunch of weird moments of things like this with K.
Times that I knew things, times that I’d happen to stop doing something and log into facebook to find he’d literally just posted something… just weird connections.
At one point in time, it had me starting to believe in soulmates… now, it has me feeling a bit like the world is trying to sucker punch me. I was minding my own business, behaving myself… it’s not like I was watching that page for updates. I’d sort of forgotten it existed.
Well, this morning it got more interesting.
I got a email that someone had rated my profile highly…. that they were totally into me… that we were a good match and I should send him a message…
I’ve only gotten two of those from this site before… but the one this morning… was from K.
I’m really not sure what to think of that. Again, kind of felt like a new sucker punch.
I’ve pretty much decided to assume he just decided to try and give him more women that it thinks are similar to me by indicating that he liked me.
So, I messaged my therapist this morning, explaining the weird developments that have happened since I’d gotten the info (which I’d already mentioned to them right after I’d gotten it while I was still trying to process it)
And… there’s something about the tone of the therapists response… that I don’t think they believe me.
I don’t think they really believe me that I wasn’t intentionally looking for him… that I wasn’t intentionally trying to start games or drama because things were too quiet or in the wave of things with the new guy ending or whatever…
It’s not something that’s openly stated… but just in the phrasing…. I just get that impression.
I’m a bit hurt by that… but I guess I could understand. I guess it doesn’t seem likely, especially if you listen to people with issues all day long as a career.
And the response was basically matter of fact… it didn’t argue or even directly state that they doubted it.
But there is a part of me that sort of wants to wonder if this is the beginning of the end with this therapist.
Maybe it isn’t… and I’m just being too sensitive… I guess time will tell… but if they have the impression that I’m intentionally trying to create drama, then I have to wonder if that’s going to be reflected in the advice and responses from this point, in a way that changes things.
Life is weird sometimes.
Amusing post-post update…
When I went into my gmail just after the post was made (which sends me an email, like it does those of you who subscribe by email)…
And gmail decided to inform me that the dictionary.com word of the day for 12/10 was happenstance.
LOL Thank you google for reading my blog posts… even if you are sort of critiquing my word choices in my writing. Can I count you as one of my readers? Unfortunately, I know too much about you to think your choice of happenstance at that moment happened to be happenstance…. but it actually is a very nice and relevant word that hadn’t come to mind, and the suggestion did amuse me.