So, things moved forward… and still seemed to be going really well.
And, it was nice.
Unlike with the earlier attempts, I didn’t find myself making K comparisons…. or wishing to be holding hands with K instead, or any of that sort of thing. I was glad to be hanging out with Cr for the fact that he was Cr, not comparing to how much I would have preferred him to be K.
Was I in love? Not yet.
But the feelings were growing… and yes, I did really like him… and I think it would have reached the point that I’d have called it love before too long.
It was not looking to stay towards the more detached, recreational dating… friends with cuddling sort of thing.
He seemed to be a really great guy.. and seemed to be really into me. It wasn’t like with the newer guy where I felt like if I stopped the conversation, it would stop completely.. nor like K, who only sometimes remembered what I’d told him in conversations in spite of normally having a good memory.
He was kind to everyone we interacted with… and sweet and gentle with me.. affectionate but never pushy on moving things further… took being a Christian seriously but at the same time not being so conservative as to not be willing to drink, etc.. but also a good mix of being the intellectual nerd… it just really seemed to be a good match and we got along really well.
It seemed like the dawn was breaking… that spring was finally coming to my heart after this horrible winter.
So… then came this sunday.
We were talking, and his roommate called. He sent the call to voicemail promptly.
They called again, and again, and again, and he left it in his pocket repeatedly… then eventually he stepped out and answered it. Sort of seemed weird for a roommate to be that obnoxious… particularly one he’d only had since returning to the area full time in August.
But ok, whatever.
But, a bit later, we got into a discussion about his dog. He has a dog, and the roommate has a dog, and this roommate had cared for his dog while he was out of town most of the time for the past two years. This seemed somewhat reasonable if things had been as close to divorce as he said since before that time, that the wife might not be into caring for his dog for him.
But what seemed weird… was he kept flipping into calling them "my dogs" rather than "our dogs". At one point he was discussing roommate’s long haired dog, and would say things like "we were having to brush her twice a day" and "we keep it cut so-and-so" rather than "he had to".
So he’s only been living with the guy for less than 6 months… but is speaking of the guy’s dog as a shared responsibility. It just didn’t hit right.
And so, I began wondering if he were actually still living with the wife, and not with a new roommate.
Which, might not have been a huge huge deal had he told me of the situation up front.. given reassurances that the wife was on the same page… though it probably would have slowed down interest to a much slower level until things resolved more on that front. But, not being upfront with me…. really is much more of a dealbreaker than the issue being hidden in most cases.
And if that were the case, were they really separated and getting divorced? Or was he just cheating on her?
But… I really don’t trust my intuition right now, after the mess with K blindsiding me.
I didn’t see anything coming with K, so it’s hard to know if I’m just being overly paranoid and trying to find any reddish flags at all hiding between the lines.
But then, on the other side.. at the exact same time it feels like maybe I should be trusting it, and instead I’m choosing to bury my head in the sand because I don’t want to give up the enjoyment of being with someone again.