Today had a rather weird moment.
It had been a little bit of an annoying day… and my knee was hurting a bit, but nothing too awful. I’d have rated it about a 4 or so on scale going to ten as far as my stress/emotional level.
When I went to check in at the doctor’s office, there was a different receptionist than usual… and they informed me that the copay was $40 more than it should have been.
I tried to argue it twice, then gave up and paid it… knowing I can probably sort it out pretty easily with the billing office in the morning… but still frustrated… as with having had this last paycheck 3 days short from the holidays, it wasn’t the best timing for extra expenses.
I sat down in the waiting room… and found myself suddenly fighting tears.
As in, glad I was running early as I had to retreat to the bathroom and regroup.. and still ended up wiping eyes for the next 45 minutes…. and totally lost it the minute I got safely inside my car.
When I knew it wasn’t that bad! It was just a random inconvenience… nothing that should have been tear-producing.
It wasn’t that big of deal… I wasn’t having that bad of a day… and I wasn’t all that upset!
But somehow it just broke everything loose. What seemed like a level 4 got the response of a level 8 or 9.
I’m guessing maybe it was just a build up of other frustrations… but it really didn’t feel all that stressed.
Maybe I’m just getting used to it enough that the level to call it normal when it’s really still high?
I’m sort of hoping though that it was just a built up dam bursting… and not a new level of emotional basketcase developing.