Irresponsible adult

I’m beginning to realize that I’m overly hard on myself when it comes to down time.

Like I’d discussed with the games… I do play them… but I usually consider them to be a waste even as I’m doing so, rather than valuing the time as entertainment and stress relief.

But I do it with other things too.

There’s a sort of a split… between things that are productive, and things that aren’t… and a tendency to sort of be frustrated with myself at a low level for things that aren’t.

For example…non-fiction reading is a productive hobby. It produces knowledge. Crochet is a productive hobby, it produces an item. Other crafts build skills and also usually create some tangible result. Home repair stuff produces progress. Things with friends or my daughter build relationships.

Tv, movies… not productive unless doing something productive while doing them, cleaning or reorganizing something or crochet while watching.

Bubble bath usually also involves the non-fiction reading to justify the extended lounging.

Staring aimlessly for half an hour at a lava lamp…. very much not productive.

It feels completely like an irresponsible waste of time to do so.

But it does relieve stress. It’s relaxing. It does make me feel a bit better. It does have a benefit.

Maybe it’s unproductive.

But, in moderation, it’s not irresponsible.

But sometimes, I mentally treat myself like it is.

Not everything that is non-productive is irresponsible. Not everything has to be productive in the life of a responsible adult.. even when there are more productive things that could be being done with the time.

Something I need to learn to allow a bit more is just pointless things that help nothing but my mood… just because I feel like it.

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