So, the wedding didn’t go as bad as expected, but I still would have preferred to skip it.
Only about 1/4 of the chairs were filled at the ceremony… and my mom, daughter, and I were the only people from our side of the family.
An aunt and uncle came to the reception, so I spent most of the time talking to them and seeing pics of my cousins’ kids on their cell phones.
We almost left immediately after the ceremony… as my daughter was in tears at having been assigned to the kids table. Which sounds minor, but she did have a point… she’s 13, and the oldest at the table by far given that the next oldest was 8. Meanwhile, her 14 and 15 year old cousins were at the adult table.I’d like to say it was probably an oversight and just a generic cut-off age, but unfortunately, with the bride’s past actions, I’m pretty sure it was intentional. But either way, my mom just told my daughter to sit next to her, and as we were at the very far end from the bride and groom anyway it was not even noticed that I know of.
Actually, neither the bride nor the groom even acknowledged I was there in any way. Not a word was said to me.
But beyond that… essentially the entire night was about the bride’s family. All of both sides of the wedding party, all of the non-party speeches, all of everything was basically just her family’s party. I guess to some degree all weddings are, but this just seemed really extreme. They did eventually do a mother groom dance.
But, to be honest, when I’d been engaged, I remember wondering if any members of my family would even show up to an out of state wedding, or if there would be attention queen drama if certain ones did…. and they are my own family. So I guess to some extent I can understand how the bride would feel the same way by amplified if even I was uncertain.
But still, think I would have preferred to have not even gone.
My mom did do the relative role for pressure… telling me she’s not getting any younger, and that she would have expected me to be the first of her kids to be married instead of the last. I very nearly let a phrase out of my mouth that would not have been in any way polite, but stopped it, barely, and just said nothing. It’s not like she doesn’t know how life has gone for me in the past few years… she knew exactly what sore spot she was hitting as far as attacking my relationship failure.
But it just wasn’t worth the battle.
But another factor that I hadn’t even considered as a touchy point for the wedding was that it was located in the town where we grew up, about half an hour from where I live now.
So, it also sort of hit on sore spots on where I would have expected my life to be by now… dreams from when I was younger that haven’t come to pass and probably won’t, for many different areas of my life.
The lake where the hall was located was also the scene for an incident with my dad that had ended up ending his visitation for a while until I got my license and could drive my younger brother and I to the town where he lived and hour away.
So it was a bit touchy there too.
But no tears. From any of it.
Just sort of a depressing evening.