Bumpy equalibrium

So, out of the reflectiveness of last week, I figured I’d probably ought to start at least off and on writing in here again.

I’d quit making things public because the family drama amped up… not going to go too much into details, but lets just say things surfaced and got hairy.

But then, with only me seeing it, I dropped off writing period… something probably more depression related than I give it credit for.

So.

2015.

Was a rough year.

Honestly, there’s no way I can pretend otherwise.

Yes, life is still rocky… and still some pretty good sized battles going on.

But.. 2015 was not a rollercoaster.

Compared to the chaos and turmoil of 2014 that is well chronicled on here… there is a big difference.

2015 was more of a rough uphill climb… frustrating and slow progress..

2014 had been pretty much an out of control freefall tumble and the resulting dizziness and injury recovery in trying to even figure out which way was up again.

I’ll probably in the next week sometime write more about some of the bigger challenges of 2015 that are more open to being discussed on here… but I make no promises on when, and I’m sure they will probably be totally random in order.

And yes, unfortunately, like it usually ends up, they will probably be more rough spells than sunshine needing some processing.

But… if I had to pick a theme for 2015… I’d say that the year brought mostly a return to a semblance of equilibrium.

I don’t like using the word balance for it… balance to me sort of implies that things are correctly weighted.

Equilibrium is more about compensation.

It’s about managing the various weights after something gets changed.. making changes to then compensate for the difference and bring things back into some sort of a working order rather than leaving them all off kilter and out of whack.

Has it been a smooth process? No way. There have still been days and even weekends that I’ve barely made it out of bed… if I even managed to uncurl from a ball to try.

But the equilibrium does recover.

I’m getting better at trying to respond quickly and keep it as short as possible, or even prevent it in the first place by preparing for the initial unwanted changes… but that’s definitely a continued goal for 2016.

I’m still rather down, even with continued meds… and life is still rocky.

But I can very much say that it’s getting better… and that the chaos has calmed into more of a steady challenge.

A rough year. But progress is something anyway.

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One thought on “Bumpy equalibrium

  1. tlc4women says:

    I’m glad to see you back!

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