Sort of feel like I’m here, there, and everywhere right now.
Partially just with the craziness of getting everything to come together with the business.
But it’s hitting me pretty good emotionally too.
There’s about 1 day out of every 3 that I’m not sure that I even really want to do this… that feel like just backing off and writing it off already without even trying.
But then, another day out of 3, I’m full steam ahead.. having trouble letting myself get anything else done, even sleep, when there’s something I could be doing. (Sanding and using the jigsaw have now become allowed in the living room to reduce the effect of nighttime on production… sawdust is sweepable… )
But it’s kind of going everywhere with everything else in life too.
Some days I’m fine with the working out and with exercises for my leg… other days I’m ready to go back to the doc and request pain meds again.
With one particular friend, who has work related reasons to keep a bit of a distance… I keep going back and forth on just leaving him alone and not even speaking to him until he takes initiative and just parking him in the pile of one-sided friendships…. or going the far other direction and giving him the benefit of the doubt that the reading I get talking to him is more correct of a gauge and to consider him a friend.
I’m really starting to completely hate it when my head gets this way. It’s hard to know from one day to another what to expect, even from myself.
Sometimes I just feel like I’m completely losing any trace of sanity I ever actually had.