The more things change….

Waiting is killing me.

Tomorrow is a week until the market opens, and still waiting on final word on if we got accepted.

I left a message this afternoon… And didn’t get a call back.

But, there’s a new like on the business Facebook page from someone listed as working for the market.

Maybe that’s a good sign? Especially when I didn’t give them the page link on the paperwork, so they found it themselves.

Or maybe they were liking it to see if it would show anything more, or the watch and see if we posted any better products?

It’s driving me crazier.

But it’s scary and frustrating beyond just the waiting… Because I know that it comes down to this. Someone’s opinion.

And that’s really all that matters between things going down the path that’s been hoped, and having to regroup and decide what’s happening next of the lesser positive options.

If whoever is making the decisions (maybe it’s just this single person) doesn’t like porch decorations and thinks they are tacky… Then all of my efforts and expenses are worth less than just this one person’s feelings.

And I hate this position.

Because it feels like a million other times.

The story of my life sometimes seems to be that no matter how hard I work towards something and how much effort I give… It’s ultimately beyond my control whether or not it fails.

That’s not what it’s supposed to be. The story we all get told is that if you work your butt off and give it your all, your efforts will be rewarded.

Most of you (ok, who I doubt are still reading, but who might read this anyway) already know some of my major examples of that idea failing me repeatedly in the past few years, so I’ll spare the rehashing.

Maybe that’s just a story we get told to keep us working hard, like the Santa story gets used to influence children’s behavior.

I really don’t know anymore.

I know that I’ve given it the best I could do with the circumstances at the moment. Yeah, in an ideal world, there would be lots of social media stuff built up and tons of pics and lots of likes.. But right now, between kid stuff, work stuff, job search stuff, and working on actually making the items… It is what it is.

I just know that fact doesn’t make much difference in the outcomes.

I know God has control of all, and has plans, and all of that. All things supposedly work together…

It just really frustrates me how little difference my best efforts make sometimes.

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